| Dear Friends of the Monastery,
Blessings to you! When I entered monastic life, I presumed that I would spend the rest of my life within the monastery, praying for others. I first entered a monastic community that ran schools and worked in parishes and had monks working as chaplains outside of the monastery, but presumed that I would not be assigned that kind of work. In 1974 I came to Christ in the Desert, which had no \"external\" works but was devoted only to prayer.
Life is not always what we think it will be. At Christ in the Desert, my first two and a half years were spent running the farm and being the accountant. I also served as assistant superior, choirmaster and novice master. It was a very peaceful and quiet life. It was a life that was in many ways ideal for me.
In October of 1976 I was named the superior of the community. In May of 1977 I was ordained a priest. Nevertheless, it was still a quiet and retired life. Only in 1981 did I take my first trip out of the United States, to Rome, seeking to find a Congregation of monks who would accept our monastery. Our community had tried to join an American congregation but we were not accepted.
We ended up joining the Subiaco Congregation, which has its Abbot President in Rome and which has houses on every continent and which is divided into Provinces to facilitate the houses relating among themselves. We were the only American house and so all of the meetings were in Europe. That changed my life and the life of the community very much.
Later we had two foundations in Mexico and that also changed the life of the community. Then a house in Chicago. Now we have brothers helping in a monastery in South Africa. Soon we shall have a Vietnamese House in the United States.
All of this can look \"successful\" from the point of view of the institution, and in many ways it has to be looked at that way. The only real question for us, however, is this: are we doing the will of God and being faithful to the Lord Jesus in all that we do. This always brings me face to face with the challenges of making decisions: are they for God?
There are times when I never ever want to make another decision in my life! Especially I do not want to make decisions that affect the lives of others. Our community will continue to be asked to help others and affect the lives of others. This is part of Christian responsibility.
As we listen to the current news in our world, we are all aware that each one of us who has the means to do so must find ways to help others who suffer incredible disasters and hardships. If we can do nothing else, we can pray. Quite often we are able to send small amounts of aid to others and if we follow Jesus, we must do so.
In the community, brothers are coming home from school now and other men want to enter the community and we are out of rooms once again. We never turn down vocations and so find ways to accommodate men in rooms not meant to be cells. We are hoping that our Sisters will soon be able to move so that we can use their monastery for our formation program and thus avoid the cost of any new construction. On the other hand, we want to help our Sisters also as they try to build up their own monastery.
This past week I was in Italy for a few days to help another community and that work seems to be moving forward also. For me and for our community, it is often a question of how much help we can be for others and yet still maintain a strong and fervent monastic life.
Next week I will go visit my mother in Washington State. It will be a short visit. Such visits must be fit into the other aspects of my life.
As I began this letter meditating on the quiet tranquility of monastic life at Christ in the Desert in 1974, so also I should like to say that the quiet tranquility remains pretty much in place for the community, even though less so in my life. Here I should like to share another experience: participating in an exorcism. My personal experience of praying again diabolical possession is very limited. The few times that I have been involved, I have found such participation demands of me immense energy and concentration. It is like being taken into another world entirely where I must focus on one thing alone: prayer for the possessed person.
I mention this because this type of experience is very similar to what I find in my personal life at present: if I am going to pray, I have to go into another world entirely, within my own soul, and use all of my energy to focus on one thing alone: the presence of the living God. Sometimes it is easier not to pray!
Like many people, I would prefer that God simply pray within me without me having to expend any energy. Real prayer is not like that! Instead, in real prayer, I must allow God to use my own resources so that my life is focused on God alone. Always it is God! Always it takes my own personal consent!
May the Lord help all of us who want to pray! May our hearts desire God\'s will!
Be assured of my prayers for you and for all of your needs and intentions. I will celebrate Holy Mass once this week for the intentions of all who read this letter. And I ask your prayers for me and for all of our communities.
Monastery of Christ in the Desert
P.O. Box 270
Abiquiu, NM 87510
Your brother in the Lord,
Abbot Philip, OSB |
